Okay, athlete success stories are the only thing that still make me cry in public, no cap.
I’m writing this from my couch in Bushwick, November 18, 2025, wearing the same hoodie I’ve had since 2019, crumbs in my beard, half a Monster energy drink sweating on the coffee table, and honestly? I needed these stories today because I just got rejected from another writing gig and I’m spiraling hard.
The Michael Jordan One That Everyone Knows But Still Guts Me Every Time
Look, we all know MJ got cut from his varsity team as a sophomore. But do you ever actually sit with that? This dude—who would become the greatest ever—was told he wasn’t good enough for the fucking varsity squad. I think about that when I’m doom-scrolling LinkedIn and seeing everyone else “crushing it.” I tried to play JV basketball in 10th grade in rural Pennsylvania and got benched so hard the coach forgot my name. Jordan went home, cried (allegedly), then turned into a psychopath in the gym. I went home and ate an entire Entenmann’s coffee cake and played Halo 2 until 4 a.m. We are not the same.
Tom Brady Getting Drafted 199th Still Makes Me Want to Scream
199th. One-hundred and ninety-fucking-ninth. This man was skinny, slow, and apparently looked like a “bowl of soup” in his combine photo is criminal. Meanwhile I got passed over for freshman football because I couldn’t do ten push-ups without crying. Brady went on to win seven rings and marry a billionaire. I’m 36 and my biggest achievement this week was not burning my grilled cheese. There’s something violently unfair about it, but also… hope? Maybe? Fuck if I know. athlete success
External link for credibility: https://www.nfl.com/photos/tom-brady-through-the-years-0ap1000000228472
Bethany Hamilton – The One That Actually Makes Me Sob Like a Baby
Shark takes her arm at 13. She’s back surfing massive waves a month later. A MONTH. I dislocated my shoulder reaching for a bag of Takis last year and complained for eight months. She’s out there charging Pipeline with one arm while I can’t even open a pickle jar without texting my mom for emotional support. Her story makes me feel both inspired and completely pathetic, which is probably the correct response.
Kurt Warner Bagging Groceries to Super Bowl MVP Is My Villain Origin Story
This one hurts because it’s too close. Kurt was literally stocking shelves at Hy-Vee in Iowa, making $5.50 an hour, while everyone forgot he existed. Then boom—Super Bowl MVP, Hall of Famer, married to a badass woman who roasted him on national TV. Meanwhile I worked at Trader Joe’s in 2018 and got written up for eating too many free samples. The universe has favorites and I’m clearly not one of them, but Kurt gives me this tiny psychotic sliver of hope that maybe my Hy-Vee era is still coming.
Link: https://www.profootballhof.com/players/kurt-warner/
Jim Abbott – No Hand, No Excuses, No Problem
Born without a right hand. Pitched a no-hitter in the majors. Let that sink in while you complain about your Wi-Fi being slow. I can’t even throw a frisbee properly with TWO hands. Abbott’s story is the ultimate “shut the fuck up” to every excuse I’ve ever made.
The Rudy Ruettiger One That Makes Me Ugly Cry Every Single Time
5’6”, walked on at Notre Dame, got carried off the field after one sack. I watched that movie drunk last month and screamed at my TV like a psychopath. I never even made my high school team, but when they chant “Rudy” I lose my goddamn mind every time.
Wilma Rudolph – Polio to Triple Olympic Gold Is Straight Violence
Childhood polio, leg braces, told she’d never walk normally. Then she wins three gold medals in 1960 and dances on the graves of everyone who doubted her. I pulled a hamstring walking up subway stairs last week and milked that injury for three weeks of Uber rides.
Look, I’m a mess. These athlete success stories wreck me because they prove the gap between who I am and who I could’ve been if I’d just… tried harder? Been less scared? Stopped eating my feelings? I don’t know. But the fact that these absolute freaks of willpower exist means maybe—MAYBE—my own pathetic comeback chapter isn’t over yet. So yeah. Anything is possible. Even for a 36-year-old writer in a crusty hoodie who still can’t dunk and cries at sports movies. What’s the athlete success story that fucks you up the most? Tell me in the comments so I don’t feel alone in my garbage emotions. And if you’re reading this feeling like a failure… go do one push-up. Just one. Then maybe tomorrow do two. That’s how these psychos started. Anyway I’m gonna go try to touch my toes now wish me luck I’ll probably pull something lol bye
