Mental wellness, dude, its the only reason I aint curled up under my desk eating stale goldfish and crying about taxes right now. Im in my shoebox brooklyn apt, nov 4 2025, rain doing that drip-drip on the fire escape like its mad at me. Coffee gone cold again—story of my life—and ive been in the same hoodie three days straight. classy. anyway, maintaining a healthy mind wasn’t even on my radar til I melted down in target over cereal. full tears aisle 7. cashier looked at me like “maam touch grass”
Why Mental Wellness Feels Like Herding Cats Mental Wellness 101
look im no therapist. just a 30-something who googled “is it normal to forget how to blink” at 3am. mental wellness started with baby steps—like microscopic baby steps. tried journaling, wrote “i hate everything” 47 times. progress? kinda. point is you dont need vision board or pinterest crap. you need to stop treating your brain like a dumpster fire and give it a broom or something?
- Sleep: used to brag about 4 hours. now i brag about 7.5 like its olympic medal
- Hydration: turns out iced coffee doesnt count. who knew
- Movement: dance to early 2000s emo in kitchen. neighbor bangs wall. worth it
pro tip: National Institute of Mental Health has free stuff that doesnt make you feel like a failure
Stress Management (or: How I Stopped Yelling at Printers)
My Go-To Anxiety Hacks (That Sometimes Work)
- Box breathing – 4 in 4 hold 4 out. do it in bodega line when guy pays in quarters
- Phone a friend – text group chat “send memes or i perish.” they deliver
also found this CDC stress guide at 2am didnt hate it. shocking
Mindfulness? More Like Mind-Full-Of-Crap Mental Wellness 101
mindfulness practices supposed to be serene. mine got cat on chest purring like chainsaw while i “observe thoughts.” observed thought: why rent so high. still counts?
downloaded app forgot password rage-uninstalled then redownloaded at 1am cuz guilt. cycle of life
The Daily Mental Health Habits I Actually Stick To (Mostly)
- Gratitude but chaotic: “thankful for coffee wifi and plants havent unionized yet”
- No-phone mornings: lasts 6 minutes til i check if world ended
- “Worry time”: schedule 15 min to spiral. timer dings i move on. sometimes ignore timer. human
Oops All Pitfalls Mental Wellness 101
biggest mental wellness mistake? 10/10 do not recommend
Wait Where Was I? (Conclusion Vibes) Mental Wellness 101
anyway mental wellness less “glow up” more “slowly stop setting self on fire.” still a mess—knocked over water glass typing this—but slightly less combustible mess. start with one dumb thing today: drink water text friend or just breathe without checking email. brain not group project. dont gotta ace it just dont fail on purpose
drop your chaotic mental wellness wins (or epic fails) below. i read every comment stress-eating pretzels. youre not alone unless you wanna be—then lock door hide snacks
